Playing for Pauley

At the end of last year's soccer season, never would I have thought, I'd be back in the stands rooting for my players on the field.

Yet.. here I am.

Jake decided to switch from playing football to soccer. Luke has also decided to play.

They have no previous soccer experience, really. Just the longing to honor their brother's memory and learn the sport he so loved.

Their first scrimmage at home is tomorrow.

After four years of cheering on my E out there, it will be difficult, no doubt... as the memories of those times will flood my mind, heart and soul.

But now it is their time....and I will be there to cheer them on.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 

Philippians 4:13

#ep7 #ecp7 #playforpauley

Pictures courtesy of Impressive Studios

Posted on Facebook: 8/14/16

https://www.facebook.com/stephaniespauley/posts/10206642387167361

1st Annual EP7 Memorial Cruise-In

48 cars were entered in the 2016 EP7 Memorial Cruise-In. 

Well over 100 people stopped in throughout the evening. 

This is just one set of pictures taken. I will be posting more pictures and all the sponsors soon.

The Cruise-In was a large effort taken on by many in order to help our high school graduates seeking a career in the skilled trades.

Thanks to Bill Mullins of Ohio River Street Rodders and friends for assisting with parking, and getting the word out. They made quite the grand entrance too.

Another thanks to all those who entered their cars and were so generous with their donations supporting the scholarship fund and all who came out to show your support!

A huge thanks to all those who helped us..

Vickie McCormick Hunt and Paul Hunt Jr. for helping to set up, take down, announcing, running needed errands, and taking these great pictures.
Aimee Ramsey Hall for handling shirt orders. Her husband Matt for cooking hot dogs and allowing us to borrow their grill.
Matt Dahm for setting up a table to hand out books donated by Kenny Estep of Shawnee Hills Baptist Church.
Chris Prater and the Porter Township Fire Department for filling up the dunk tank.
Laurie Livernois Willis and James Willis for helping as needed.
Members of the Wheelersburg Pirate Soccer Team (Joshua Russell mostly ;) and Coach Michael Kitts for agreeing to be dunked in the tank.

Alan Payton, Tammy Blankenship Humphrey and family for helping in the initial stages and getting the word out.
Baleigh Crawford, Brittany Swim, Morgan Willoughby, Alyssa Holcomb, Angie Fannin and Jeremy Fannin for face painting and/or selling 50/50 tickets.
Bailee Fannin, Tanner Bivens, Ethan McCain, and Mitchell McFarland for judging the Best of Show trophy.
Kevin Hoops of Impressive Studios for setting up a photo booth though I didn't get a chance to utilize it since I was gabbing to everyone. Kevin also was so kind to give us some wonderful pictures of E awhile back that he took last fall for soccer.
Bailee and Morgan also came up with the shirt design and Shawn Meade Jordan for putting the design together to submit to Johnson's Shirt Stop.

Hopefully I've included everyone that has been hands-on throughout this event.

It took a multitude of support to make this Cruise-In a success...and as always you....our community came through <3

Praise God for the beautiful weather and great turnout.

Ethan Pauley #ep7 #ecp7

Posted on Facebook: 8/7/16: https://www.facebook.com/stephaniespauley/posts/10206595068224417

& https://www.facebook.com/stephaniespauley/posts/10206607429813449

The Weaver

The Weaver

My life is but a weaving

between my Lord and me;

I cannot choose the colors

He worketh steadily.

Oft times He weaveth sorrow

And I, in foolish pride,

Forget He sees the upper,

And I the underside.

Not til the loom is silent

And the shuttles cease to fly,

Shall God unroll the canvas

And explain the reason why.

The dark threads are as needful

In the Weaver's skillful hand,

As the threads of gold and silver

In the pattern He has planned.

-Benjamin Malachi Franklin



Posted on Facebook: 7/12/16
https://www.facebook.com/stephaniespauley/posts/10206418238403782

6 months without our son

Six months have passed since our lives were torn apart. Our boy we loved so dearly, was taken from us in an instant. We didn't even have a chance to say goodbye.

I remember that night so vividly.

It seems just like yesterday, yet in so many ways it feels as though he’s been gone forever. A lifetime, really. 

The desolation we have felt is beyond any I could ever describe or have imagined.

While I have experienced much in my forty something years, from serving in a foreign war at 19, losing my mother when she was just 55, to leaving our home and moving several states away with five young boys to a place I knew not a single soul. Those trials did not prepare me for the unexpected loss of a child I spent eighteen years loving and raising.

His wake, the funeral, even months after are a blur to me. Yet there are a few things that stand out.

One is the story from a mother who had a young teenage boy with her at the wake. She told us that awhile back her son was contemplating suicide. Around the same time, E had an encounter with this boy, and spoke kind words to encourage him. Hearing this from an upperclassman he looked up to, made an impact on this woman’s son. She told us how it is Ethan she credits for saving his life. Giving others encouragement and kindness was something we hear time and time again about our son.

Living without E has been an insurmountable burden we have no choice to bear.

There will never be a day that goes by…no, not a moment we aren’t thinking of him, feeling his absence and missing him.

We’ve had to make many adjustments in our lives. He was a part of every single detail in this family. We reluctantly move forward, yet always looking back. Never truly moving on.

And six months later, here we are forging an unknown and uncharted path full of a grief we never expected to know.

I'm really not sure how we will fill the void left in our hearts without him here physically. We probably never will. We're still hurting.. more than ever, but are grateful for the family, friends and community that continue to support us.

What I am sure of is that we could not cope without leaning on the Lord’s strength and guidance through every step.

I must remind myself daily that we are not created for this world.

And the best way I can honor our E is to advance the kingdom of which he is now a part of.

"My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life."

Psalm 119:50

Posted on Facebook: 7/22/16

https://www.facebook.com/stephaniespauley/posts/10206492648943999

2016 Softball Champions honor E

The girls immediately after winning their game.

It has been awhile since I've watched a softball game. Actually, to be honest, probably not since high school.

There are few reasons why, I suppose. I’ve never been a real sports fan, in school I lacked that coordination to participate. But mostly, it was that I just never took the time.

So it drew my attention when I was told the senior girls requested Ethan's initials be put on the sleeve of their uniform. I felt that with such a kind gesture, I really should take the time to attend one of their games.

The first one I watched was their last played on home field. I have to admit I was quite surprised.
It certainly wasn't the same game I remember watching in high school.

This...was so much more.

I watched a dynamically orchestrated symphony of team members working in sync to create a fast paced, intense competition. These girls played together as smoothly as a well oiled machine.
I was in awe of the impressive talent and determination displayed on that field by these young ladies.
So it came as no surprise to me when they made it to the state championship.

I thought of how proud Ethan would have been to see them make it there. He cared so much about his schoolmates succeeding at whatever their hand found to do.
And I know he would have been right there for their championship game, cheering his friends on in their success, their sportsmanship.

So on Saturday, Jim, the boys and I traveled to Akron to watch these girls play in the state championship game.
The momentum going into that game was SOMETHING.

And in the end, The Wheelersburg Lady Pirate Softball Team won the state championship for the first time since 1983.

Afterwards, we watched as this team ran onto the field shouting “EP7” with such emotion while they huddled together. It was truly humbling to see the same passion and love of the game that our E had when he played soccer.

Their winning season was not only because of their talent, hard work and determination, but because of their heart and soul.

And that not only makes them winners on the field...
It will carry them through life’s ups and downs to be... winners in life.

“Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might”. Ecclesiastes 9:10

The Ethan Pauley Memorial Scholarship

Immediately after Ethan's death, we wanted to do something to honor his memory. A dear friend suggested setting up a scholarship in his name that people could donate to in lieu of sending flowers to the funeral home.

An account at Wheelersburg High School was set up to facilitate these donations. A Facebook page was created as well.

The response was overwhelming.

Donations poured in. EP7 wristbands, and decals were created and sold to assist in collecting funds for the scholarship.

Over the years, I’ve spent time working in professions promoting both human and animal welfare. I often thought how I had seen the worst people have to offer, time and time again. These experiences left me, at various times pondering how little goodness seemed left in the world.

Then came the inconceivable loss of our son just two months ago today. This loss has taken our view of reality and scattered it all over. We will be picking those pieces up for the rest of our lives.

Yet, throughout this horrific ordeal, we have experienced how family, friends, and communities can come together, putting their differences aside, while working for the good of others. Often times, it is a tragedy that reveals the true love and kindness the human spirit can offer.

As of yesterday, I learned the Ethan Pauley Memorial Scholarship Fund has received a total of $9,619.40.

To say we are amazed...would be an understatement.

These donations arrived from Wheelersburg, and the surrounding communities, but they also came from West Virginia, and Kentucky to Michigan, Indiana, and possibly even farther.
I cannot express how much the growth of this fund means to us, to honor the memory of our son with something so worthwhile is priceless.

Ethan was at the age he was seeking to find his own path, and he was making plans for his future. He had his whole life ahead of him. Though he was an ordinary teenager in many ways, he set himself apart, too. He had a sincere desire to make the world a better place by putting others ahead of his own needs or wants. He so wished to see his friends happy, to see them succeed. He never wished to be acknowledged for these efforts. He brought dedication and enthusiasm, we hear it often now, in such a strong way to whatever he pursued!

A moment that stands out to me from mid-January of this year.

We were running an errand, and E noticed a homeless man with his dog outside of this office. He immediately went digging into his wallet. Parents of teens are quite aware of how stingy they can be with their money. Knowing full well he had very little himself, I watched as he pulled out every cent he had, walk over and give it to the man. After giving him the money, he shook the stranger's hand and gave his dog a pat.

I remember how touched I was to see my teenage son treat strangers so kindly time and time again. It was one of those glimpses, as I've mentioned before, you see the type of person your child is growing up to be. . .

Since our E cannot fulfill his hopes and dreams, it is our desire to be able to help others, in the spirit of our son, as that is who he was.

You are helping us do this. And for that, we are truly grateful.

"Praise the Lord. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever."- Psalm 106:1-2

Posted on Facebook 3/22/16

The Walmart Tees

Ethan loved playing for the Pirates, and when the season had ended, it was almost as if, he didn't know what to do with himself. After losing districts, in which he played the best game of his entire high school career, he came to me very emotional, almost crumbling in my arms, and told me it was over. Expressing emotions was not an easy thing for him, much less any teenage boy to do, especially to me his mother, no doubt. But at that moment, I realized how vital my response was. I knew it had to be brief yet encouraging, so I simply told him, “It wasn't over. He was just entering a different phase of his life, and whatever he set his mind to, he could do.”

And that is what he did.

Almost immediately, E turned his attention, to the indoor season. The Burg team he had always played with didn't have enough spots for the seniors. Since he wanted to play in some of the tournaments at Quantum, he decided to create his own team. Little to my knowledge at the time, he contacted players he knew around the tri-state of Ohio, Kentucky, and West Virginia. These were teenagers around the same age group, that he felt were competitive on the field. The fact that he was able to make friends and recruit those he played with and against from such a widespread area, is a testament to the importance he put into developing and maintaining relationships throughout the years.

The first indoor tournament would be the Gobbler Classic. I recall the day he showed me the schedule was when I first learned of their team name. The Walmart Tees. Both perplexed and amused, I asked him how they came about choosing it. He replied, “Because that is where we are buying our team shirts.” Then I asked him who the coach was. “As of now, we don't really have one,” he said. I asked him if he thought he should. He replied, “No. We don't want a real coach.”
So on Saturday, December 5th, the Walmart Tees entered their first official tournament. The competition were long-time, established teams that had experienced coaches, team moms, and some even had secretaries. Teams with uniforms, and printed rosters.

And here was Ethan and the Walmart Tees. Submitting a hand written roster merely scratched on paper, shirts from Walmart with their team name stenciled in black sharpie and members that never once practiced together prior to the tournament. Since they had to list a coach, and the one friend they had in mind could not attend that weekend, they asked one of the player's older cousins to fill that role. Who, as only as they would have it, had no previous soccer coaching experience.
And guess what? They played against those teams. In all their sweaty, stinky glory with sharpie ink running down their shirts, they won the Gobbler Classic.

As I mentioned before, most of this was unknown to me while it was all transpiring. I found out when one of the mothers of E's teammates approached me. She told me how glad she was that Ethan contacted her son with this opportunity and how fond they were of him. She said they didn't hesitate in agreeing to play. I think back at that moment, and how proud I was of him.
It was one of those little things I learned about my own son that day.

Because as a parent, you are always worrying about your children. That doesn't stop when they become young adults. It deepens. They become their own person with their own relationships, activities, and dreams. They grow to be..independent. They aren't always open with you while establishing this independence. And sometimes it is hard to connect with them. So you try and guide them the best you possibly can. It seemed I did more guiding though, when I really should have taken some of that time to get to know him better. It is through those little things, you get a glimpse into the person they're becoming.

A month later, the Walmart Tees played another tournament at Quantum that was to determine their ability to qualify to enter the National Indoor Championship hosted in Cleveland. This tournament had even more teams competing, but they pulled it off, winning that one as well.
I wasn't able to attend because family had arrived in from Michigan and we just couldn't get there on time. Missing that tournament is something I will always regret.

Now that E is gone, the Walmart Tees have decided to go on to play this tournament in his memory as they know it is what he would have wanted. They will be playing the National Indoor Soccer Championship in Cleveland this Saturday and Sunday. These boys will need extra support. Playing without E on this particular team will be one of the hardest things for them to do. The bonds that develop on the field grow deep throughout the years of playing with someone. The loss of their friend, teammate and player will truly be felt by this team.

I have made the choice to go. Though hard as it will be not watching as my beloved E is cherishing the fruits of his labor while playing on that field, I know with certainty, that his spirit will.

"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar like wings on eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk, and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

Posted on Facebook 2/23/16
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10205463001883466&set=pcb.10205463206088571&type=3&theater

The Impact Of Our Small Community-Gratitude And Thanks.

 

Our last family pictures together with E-November 2016.

When we purchased our small farm, and moved from Huntington, WV to Wheelersburg in May 2011, we arrived as strangers to a little community.

With all the work to do settling in our new home, I found we kept mostly to the projects at hand instead of getting to know people right off. Ethan began playing soccer late that summer, and while I still had met only a few people, Ethan quickly seemed to know everyone. 

 



Our community gathered together to pray around the school after Ethan's death-https://rivervet.smugmug.com/Community/Community-Mournes-Ethan-Pauley/

 As someone recently told me, it was like “Where's Waldo”, and Ethan became “Waldo” within months, because he immediately found a warm welcome by this community. Soon, Ethan could be seen here and there in so many photos people would post: at a game, in the cheer block, playing soccer, or just hanging with friends. I never paid much attention to that being “special,” though I was glad he transitioned so easily with the move. Looking back, I wish I had realized how really amazing it was, how he made a place for himself in Wheelersburg from the moment he arrived. He truly embraced and loved this town very much, and he did so from the start. 

 



The Wheelersburg High School announcement of Ethan's wake and funeral arrangements

 

 And they loved him in return.

I didn't realize the magnitude of the ties he had built so many places here until the end of his senior year began to approach. As any mother, I wanted him to leave the area to attend a good college, play soccer, and do something big. Create a life. Ethan did not see the same vision I had for him. He was making his own plan. What he talked of was staying here in Burg, going to college in the local area, and opening up a business, because everything he wanted was here; he so loved this community.

 

Article by Portsmouth Daily Times-http://portsmouth-dailytimes.com/sports/5389/titans-honor-pauley-with-orange-out

 At the time, I couldn't understand the deep connection. My own childhood was spent moving around from state to state. I was a bit of a Gypsy, and I did not know the significance of growing up in a small town and developing strong bonds to the place and the people. I could not fathom what would lead me to fully experience the impact of love in a tight knit community, either.

As soon as we received the news, from that moment, I saw and felt, our whole family saw and felt, an outpouring of support and giving from not only Wheelersburg, but from many surrounding towns in such a way, words cannot really explain. They certainly cannot be enough to thank you all, either. The sports related rivalries melted away from that moment, and the reason my son loved this place was so clear to me.

 

 

 

Show of support by the area schools

Many people from all over this area and beyond have worked very hard to be here for all of us. You made sure that we did not have to stop and worry over a cost no parent ever dares to consider: the cost to bury their child. Beyond that, you have all made sure we lacked for nothing, no service, no item, no need was overlooked. Prepared Food, snacks, beverages, paper products, offers of so many kind services, laundry items, firewood, monetary donations, gift cards, the use of the school for the wake, jewelry tokens, the #7 wristbands and headbands, suit rentals for the service, clothing and shoes for the boys to attend both the wake and funeral, cards, blankets, homemade cards and banners from the schools, messages, memorial dvds, and shirts, the kindness of area soccer and sports teams to dedicate their season or games to Ethan’s memory, changing websites, team colors, cheers and ribbons to orange in order to support him and us, the lovely newspaper articles, picture collages, pictures, activity books, flowers, plants, wind chimes, plaques, the hug around the school, handmade signs, and both of Ethan's retired number 7 jerseys. 

 



Area athletes lined up to pay their respects as we drive by to lay Ethan to rest-https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10153925376966591&set=a.47241406590.55618.644841590&type=3&theater

Please know that not one message of kind thoughts and prayers have gone unnoticed. The lining of the street by area schools as we passed with Ethan to lay him to rest. . . these things mean so much and will stay with us for the rest of our lives.

There were those who worked behind the scenes, an effort that took a multitude of hands. Many I did not even know, may never know, or be able to thank in person. We are truly grateful. I have no doubt the Lord's presence was at hand. 

 

 

Friends of Ethan at work showing their support.

The tragedy of the loss of our son is more than I can yet comprehend, but you all made sure the details I could not stop to consider did not go without being addressed and handled with love and care.
This community and those beyond have thought of it all.
Every. Single. Thing.
And thank you just doesn't seem enough.

Your generosity and kindness has shown me what I never understood or experienced before. . the deep value of community. God Bless you all. Thank you for honoring our beloved E. 

 

Another area school showing their support.

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Colossians 3:12-15.

Another area school showing support.

Posted on Facebook 2/4/16
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10205344137951942&set=a.1400614824401.2057436.1503211485&type=3&theater

First Thoughts After Ethan's Death

 

 

 

Thank you to everyone who has called, messaged and given to show their concern for our family and our son. We are humbled by the outpouring of love from so many. While I have not had a chance to reply to you all, I do want you to know your support is priceless to us during this devastating, and unimaginable time.

 

We will appreciate your thoughts, and prayers for a very long time to come, and this ...amazing community, my family and friends have shown you will all be there for us.

 

Your memories of Ethan have been such a comfort. You will never know how much it means to read through the precious memories you have of him: A friend who was always there to give you a laugh, a passionate soccer player who loved to share his skills by teaching others, and an admirable example the younger children adored.

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Deuteronomy 31:8

http://www.wsaz.com/content/news/Family-of-fallen-Scioto-County-teen-share-story-366625141.html

 

Posted on Facebook 1/24/16 (Two days after E died)

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10205282554892404&set=a.1355799024034.2045088.1503211485&type=3&theater