Sunday, June 19, 2016

Ethan's Headstone


The stark reality of E's absence in our home is something we will always have to endure. Last night that reality stood out.

As any mom who has been a stay at home parent to six boys, I was always in search of ways to better budget our family finances. Giving the boy’s haircuts at home was one of those ways. Surely, I thought I could master this task…..the boys begged to differ.

Every time I brought out the clippers, they ran in the other direction. The process became quite a struggle, and the times between seemed to grow much too short since I would put it off. Ethan always seemed a willing participant, I must say. He never complained and was quite content to look dapper.

He was always willing to ask my thoughts on his clothing and shoe choices. It made me feel appreciated that he respected my opinion at a time when many boys would be sure a mom couldn’t have valuable input. Those small but significant moments stand out to me now as most treasured.

Through the years, I grew to feel giving haircuts was more than a hassle than much else. I would relent and take them to a professional from time to time, or let it grow until they begged me to cut it out of humorous desperation.

This past year E began cutting his own hair, probably out of the necessity of getting it done. He was one of those who if no one else would do the necessary work, to find a way to accomplish it.

Once he became adept at giving himself a haircut, I asked him to cut his younger brothers’ hair. He accommodated me, and the boys seemed quite content with him doing it as well. I was so relieved to relinquish this task, that I bought him his own pair of clippers to use.

While it may seem small, this task took a burden off our shoulders in both time and money. In fact, he took many small burdens off us, helping with his little brothers, and around the house to make our lives easier.

So last night as I took out his clippers to give the boys’ haircuts, my thoughts were bittersweet. Little things such as this remind me how I hope he knew how much we loved and appreciated the many ways he helped us and what it meant to us.

But more than that, how much we loved him and were so proud of the young man he had become.

For in an instant, he was gone from this life.

A word not spoken, a love not expressed. It’s the small things we take for granted. Cherish those.

For this world and all that it is, shall pass too…in an instant.

"So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom." Psalm 90:12

E's headstone was set today. It was wet from rain when I took this picture. It is beautiful. We simply can't express in words our gratitude to the anonymous donor who helped make this happen.
 
Posted on Facebook 4/12/16

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